Emotional Baggage

head in handsAs people, we go though our lives dealing with emotional events every day. Most of these events are minor irritations and have no lasting effect. Events like minor arguments at work, or someone cutting you up whilst you’re driving. We “get over” these minor events very easily and think nothing more about them. Other events can be more serious and take a few days or weeks to “get over”. There are however unfortunately a number of events that can take a much longer period of time to come to terms with, and sometime we don’t actually “get over” them at all. These events remain as part of our being.

How we deal with these events is determined by Apriori. Apriori is the Latin for “what has gone before.” The way we deal with emotions and events in the present is based on the learning and experiences of how we dealt with similar events in the past. For example: if you have sat many exams in your life and passed every one of them with flying colours, and you then fail your driving test. That could be an absolutely devastating event in your life, because you do not have the learning and understandings of how to deal with failure and you may find it very difficult to come to terms with that particular event.frustration If, on the other hand, you had a history of trying and failing and trying again, your ability to deal with failing your driving test is much easier. You have the knowledge to deal with that type of situation, you know how to pick yourself up and try again. This being true, it stands to reason that everybody deals with situations in their own unique way, as no two people have exactly the same set of experiences to call on to teach them how to react and deal with emotions.

To process these emotions, our unconscious mind will seek to utilise our past history and learning to enable it to rationalise and process the event. This may take a fraction of a second or a number of days, weeks, or even months. If it is unable to process this event, eventually it will decide to store this event and not deal with it. To use a common analogy, the unconscious mind “bags” it up and stores it away somewhere in your body. If another event arises of a similar style, your unconscious mind will quickly recognise this as a similar event and store it away as before, thus leaving you with more and more “baggage”.

Much of today’s conventional processes for dealing with this “baggage” are to develop coping strategies to enable you to carry this extra load around with you more easily. This form of therapy is typical of Western medicine. For example, if you have a headache you take pain killers. All you are doing is masking the symptoms to make it more comfortable. You are not treating the reason for the headaches at the source, for example a possible misalignment of your neck. Yet by fixing the source of the problem, you can greatly reduce the likelihood of it happening again.

smile faceNLP processes differ from those of conventional methods in the fact that we look at the source of the baggage, the root cause of this first unprocessed emotional event. By dealing with the first event we can then “learn” how to cope with these events. By taking what we have learned and applying this to each subsequent unprocessed event, we can clear the backlog of unprocessed “emotional baggage”, as well as build up our learning and understanding of how to unconsciously deal with these types of events and emotions, both now and in the future.

Common baggage

Breakdown of relationships
Death of a loved one
Being bullied as a child
Heated arguments with friends or family
Death of a pet as a child

These types of issues can manifest themselves in many forms, for example: weight issues, strained relationships with family members, phobias, inability to trust people, OCD – the list is huge! Clients often request our help with a problem which is having a major impact on their lives. Yet we often find the “root cause” of the problem to be a very different issue than the client originally presented with. Using NLP techniques, we are able to resolve both the “root cause” issue, and the resultant problems which the client has been experiencing.

For Example

I had a lady who came to me wanting to stop smoking. She hated the fact she smoked, she hated the smell, the feeling after a cigarette. She hated the way it made her feel in the mornings. As I started the session it became apparent there was more to this than just smoking. After a session of Time Line Therapy™ she realised she had been smoking to chastise herself out of guilt for something she had done as a child. During the Time Line Therapy™ session, she made the decision at an unconscious level to not smoke anymore, as she was no longer guilt ridden for her actions as a child, having processed her emotional baggage. She has not smoked since, and has also made a number of other very positive changes in her life as a result of this session. This is a perfect example of how our baggage can affect our lives in so many ways!

Ascent NLP can work with you to identify your own baggage and guide you sympathetically through your journey of learning and self discovery.